Why I do not have a cell phone

Some may be wondering how a teenager could ever live without a cell phone. Well frankly, I don't. I just use my mom's. Which I hate doing. Here is a conversation that may show why:

We are driving into town.

Mom: Hey Jellyfish, why don't you call Big-Al to set up a time to hang out?

Me: That would be cool, but can you talk to him?

*Here you could be thinking I am very unsocial, but I assure you, this sentence was simply generated from experience in the realm of scheduling over the phone.

Mom: He's your friend. Here, it's dialing.

Me: But-

Big Al: Hi! I must be popular!

Me: Sup, this is Jelly.

Big: Sup dawg!

Me: I wanted to know when you could hang out?

Big: Dude, I'm busy all day.

Me: He's busy all day.

Big: Huh?

Mom: Ask about tomorrow. Gets out her planner.

Me: I was talking to Mom.

Mom: Maybe 2:00.

Big: You're with my mom? I've been looking all over for her!

Me: No! I'm with MY mom.

Mom: Why won't 2 work?

Me: Look out!

Mom: Whoa! Lots of screeching noises as our car dodges in and out of trees in an orchard.

Big: For what?

Me: I was un! talking ahh! to my help! mom.

Big: Whats going on!

Me: ugg! Car jolts over ditch back onto road (Lots of honking and screeching)

Mom: That idiot just cut me off!

Me: You're the one who's driving crazy!

Big: I'm at a stop light, how can I be driving crazy?

Me: I was talking to mom again!

Mom: How 'bout 4:oo?

Big: Oh, well I thought you called to talk to me, not your mom.

Me: Will 4 work?

Mom: That's what I just said!

Big: For what?

Jelly hands phone to his mom.

Me: You talk to him.

At this point, Mom talks to my friend all the way into town, laughing the whole way, and forgets to set a time to hang out. Why am I always the victim?

A Wet Day

Note: This story is in response to a writing prompt that was forced from the great mind of the author. The writing prompt was as follows: Pretend you are a rain drop for a day bla bla bla...

The other day I awoke with a start. My legs and arms felt strangely liquid. I looked and saw, to my horror, that I had become a raindrop! I was falling through thin air towards a very large city. Looking around I saw thousands of other raindrops just like me.

Suddenly I hit the ground with a splash. A car roared over me, it's rear wheel throwing me high in the sky. Before I could reach the ground again, another car careened straight into me. I only had a split second to catch my breath before being flung into a storm drain by the windshield-wiper.

In the drain I was immediately rushed off to a lake, along with many other raindrops. Here I was able to rest a short time. Soon, however, and without warning, a huge fish swam up to me...and started licking my face!

Back in my bedroom, I realized I had fallen out of my bed, my head landing in my dog's water dish. Ol' Ruff was standing above me, his tongue poised above my thinking cap. It had only been a dream.