All Humans Must Die!!!

Yup you heard it. All people must, for the good of the Earth, sacrifice themselves to pave the way for the next "set" of intelligent creatures to arise through millions of years of evolution. Did you know that the Human species has evolved to such intelligence that Humans have defied the limits of Nature and now pose the greatest threat ever to set foot on the planet? This threat is bigger than any meteor, flood, hurricane, fire, freeze or any other disaster imagined...err... found, by leading Scientists to be the cause of the dinosaurs' extinction. This disaster is global warming due to over population. Yes, you and I must die...that is the only way to make sure this planet can survive this danger.

Of course if you don't want to die just promise to never enable another Human to live. If this is the path you want to follow read about it here:

http://www.worldnetdaily.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=63755

Before jumping to conclusions please realize that this actually is NOT the belief of UH... Actually we believe in the survival of the fittest! So actually we need to rise up and make sure that other intelligent species are kept in check this way we remain most powerful on earth. The closest species to the human is no doubt the Orangutan. Thankfully due to forests being chopped their population remains in check. Unfortunately, wackos think that this is bad and lumber jacks need to be stopped but then again these same wackos think that if they die the earth will be a better place. I could not disagree!... If they wipe themselves out who can stand in the way of powerful tree cutters? Little green scooter against 30in. chainsaw?? 'Nough said.

Actually UH...Doesn't go that far either. But do you see how absurd people can get??

Life in the Spotligh, part four

When Gore started yelling we finally woke up. He was walking calmly around the room, smashing pitchers, throwing chairs, kicking mirrors; he was amazing. I have never seen such professional fit throwing in my life! We all retreated to the bathroom and locked ourselves in. After an emergency consultation (and placing a poll on the web), we decided to come out fighting.
We threw open the door and charged out yelling with all our might. Gore glared at us and suddenly we found ourselves retreating again. Al made a pounce in our direction and then Brock whispered, "Why did you wake us up!?"



Encouraged by this, Josh yelled "WE QUIT!! HA! HA! HA! NOW WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?" Gore lunged at us, grabbed us by the back of our necks and dumped us in a pile in the gutter. He then climbed into his tiny green tricycle car and proceeded to putt-putt down the road. 10 minutes and 3 feet later, I saw Al get out of the car, pick it up, and slam it repeatedly against a wall. Then I blacked out.


When I woke up, I was lying on the cement floor of a jail cell. Apparently the Vegas police system thought Josh, Brock and I were just a few wednesday morning drunks. After being released, we were hauled off to the Las Vegas Sanitary Facility, otherwise known as the dump. Soon all three of us had collected a few instruments and we decided to put on a show for those dull Waste Management workers.


This time, Josh had an old ukulele, Brock was on a broken piano, and I had a broom for a mic. Under the circumstances, I thought it sounded pretty good. Some guy started playing this cool beat behind us. It sounded like "beep, beep, beep, beep..." Maybe we should have got the hint, but we didn't, and the truck ran us over.


Now we are all home, separated forever. We decided being around each other gave us all bad luck. So much for my band.

Life in the Spotlight, part three

Now that Christmas is over (well, Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas) I will begin to relate my adventures with Al Gore.

Brock, Josh, and I got together for an emergency jam session to try and come up with a song. We had about ten minutes before we were going to be picked up when we decided to forget about the song and pack for the trip to Vegas. A half hour later an electric tricycle showed up in front of my house. That thing was so small! We all tried to get in at the same time with all our luggage, but before any of us even had a leg in, the whole vehicle tipped over on its side. After fifteen minutes of rolling the "car" around the front yard, we decided to leave everything but our carry-ons. Even then we couldn't fit the driver.

We arrived at the airport, jumped on board Gore's 747 and buckled down. After takeoff, Gore gave us a private tour of his Boeing. It was amazing! The plane had a fully loaded game room, a swimming pool, and even a bar. Al Gore also told us the airlimo was equipped with twice the turbines of the average 747 so it could travel faster, the only side effect of this improvement was that it made the plane 15% less efficient than a b-52.

We were in vegas an hour later. Gore forgot to get us food, but what was worse than starving was trying to get to sleep while Brock and Josh whined because they lost the toss and had to sleep on the floor. That king size temperpudic bed sure felt nice though.

When Gore came to get us the next morning, he realized that we did not have our instruments. How were we going to explain this?